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  • Writer's picture@franciscojtovar

WHAT HE WANTS, WHAT SHE WANTS: Are We Communicating Efficiently?


Photo courtesy of Eric Ward


"Does he find her openness on social media and her nocturnal escapades with her friends acceptable? And conversely, does she feel comfortable with him sharing a drink with his visiting ex?"


Relationships often falter due to a fundamental lack of communication. Amid the intoxicating rush of emotions that follow that first transformative kiss, individuals frequently plunge headlong into a relationship, heedless of whether their values and personalities are truly compatible. The crucial aspects of life – family dynamics, friendships, financial attitudes – remain unexplored until the frenzy subsides, and the initial butterflies in the stomach gradually settle.


Yet, a simple question arises: How can we remedy this situation? How can we ensure that communication becomes the bedrock of a relationship, preventing the assumption of crucial matters and cultivating robust and respectful boundaries from the very outset? Essentially, it is pivotal to address critical questions. Does he find her openness on social media and her nocturnal escapades with her friends acceptable? And conversely, does she feel comfortable with him sharing a drink with his visiting ex? These inquiries underline the significance of communication, unraveling the tapestry of preferences and boundaries that often remain veiled in the early stages of a romance.


Effective communication is the linchpin to cultivating enduring and joyful relationships. It transcends the mere exchange of words; it is a bridge that connects two individuals, allowing them to traverse the terrain of emotions, expectations, and reservations. By openly discussing their aspirations, fears, and beliefs, couples establish an arena where understanding blossoms, and unity takes root.


To accomplish this, both partners must foster an environment that welcomes conversation without judgment or apprehension. They can begin by designating dedicated times for sincere talks, during which they unravel their thoughts and desires. Moreover, they should actively listen, embracing empathy and an eagerness to comprehend one another’s perspectives. This harmonious exchange not only engenders trust but also lays the groundwork for the development of boundaries.


Boundaries, which serve as safeguards for individual identities within a relationship, need to be clearly articulated and acknowledged by both parties. This necessitates a delicate balance between compromise and assertion. Through dialogue, couples can delineate the contours of what is acceptable, ensuring that neither partner feels compelled to compromise their personal values or comfort.


In essence, the key to enduring, joyful relationships is candid communication. It thrives in an atmosphere where the uncertainties of compatibility are dismantled, and where every aspect – whether trivial or profound – is discussed and negotiated. It requires the willingness to traverse the less romantic terrain of finances, family dynamics, and social interactions. By venturing into these uncharted waters, couples can establish a foundation built on shared understanding, paving the way for a relationship that withstands the tests of time and the complexities of life.

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